Online Dating Safety Guide for Widows

Dating again should be exciting, not scary. This guide will help you spot red flags, avoid scams, and stay safe while meeting new people.

Widows Are Targeted

Unfortunately, widows are specifically targeted by romance scammers. They know you may be lonely, financially stable (life insurance, survivor benefits), and emotionally vulnerable. Being aware is your best protection.

Romance Scams: The Biggest Threat

Romance scammers create fake profiles to build relationships and then ask for money. They're patient, convincing, and prey on emotions.

Common Romance Scam Tactics

Immediate Red Flags

  • Too perfect - Extremely attractive, great job, says exactly what you want to hear
  • Moves fast - "I love you" within days/weeks
  • Can't video chat - Always has excuses (broken camera, bad connection)
  • Tragedy stories - Recently widowed, sick family member, work problems
  • Works overseas - Military, oil rig, doctor abroad, international business
  • Poor grammar - Despite claiming to be American/British (often scammers are overseas)
  • Stolen photos - Use Google reverse image search on their photos

The Money Request (The Scam Reveals Itself)

After building trust for weeks or months, they'll ask for money with a story like:

  • "I'm stuck overseas and need help getting home"
  • "Medical emergency and I can't access my money"
  • "Investment opportunity - we'll make money together"
  • "I want to visit you but need help with plane ticket"
  • "Family emergency - just a loan until..."

The Rule: NEVER send money to someone you haven't met in person. Period.

How to Spot a Fake Profile

  1. Google reverse image search - Right-click their photo → "Search image with Google" - If it's a stock photo or belongs to someone else, it's fake
  2. Check their story for consistency - Ask questions and see if details change
  3. Look for generic messages - Could be copy-pasted to many women
  4. Very few photos or only professional-looking shots
  5. Profile created recently with little activity

Safe Dating Practices

Before the First Date

Research Your Date

  • Google their name and phone number
  • Check social media - Do they have real friends, history, consistent life?
  • Verify employment - LinkedIn profile that makes sense?
  • Trust your gut - If something feels off, it probably is

Communication Safety:

  • Use the app's messaging system at first (don't give out your number immediately)
  • Get a Google Voice number for dating (free, protects your real number)
  • Don't share your full name, address, or workplace early on
  • Be vague about exact location ("I live in the suburbs" not your street address)

The First Meeting

Location:

  • Always meet in public - Coffee shop, restaurant, park
  • During daytime for first few dates
  • Pick a place YOU know - You're comfortable, know the exits
  • Never let them pick you up - Drive yourself or use ride-share
  • No secluded locations - No "hiking a remote trail" for date one

Safety Plan:

  • Tell someone where you'll be - Friend or family member
  • Share your location - Use iPhone "Find My" or Google Maps sharing
  • Set up check-in times - Text a friend halfway through, after date
  • Have an exit plan - Your own car, money for ride-share
  • Code word with friend - If you text it, they call with "emergency"

During the Date:

  • Keep your drink with you at all times (even in bathroom, take it or order new one)
  • Don't accept rides home
  • Don't invite them to your home (or go to theirs) early on
  • Watch your alcohol consumption - stay clearheaded
  • Leave if you feel uncomfortable - you don't owe anyone an explanation

Profile Safety Tips

What to Include:

  • Recent, honest photos (no need to be perfect, be authentic)
  • Relationship status: "Widowed"
  • General interests and values
  • What you're looking for

What NOT to Include:

  • Your full name
  • Exact workplace or job title
  • Specific location (town is fine, not street/neighborhood)
  • Photos showing your house number, license plate, or identifying landmarks
  • Information about financial situation
  • Details about your routine or schedule

Red Flags in Behavior

Controlling Behavior

Warning signs:

  • Wants to know where you are all the time
  • Gets upset if you don't respond immediately
  • Criticizes your friends or family
  • Discourages you from activities without them
  • Moves relationship too fast (love bombing)
  • Gets angry when you set boundaries

Disrespectful Behavior

  • Rude to waitstaff or service workers
  • Talks negatively about all exes
  • Doesn't listen or interrupts constantly
  • Makes you uncomfortable physically (too touchy too soon)
  • Dismisses your feelings or experiences
  • Inappropriate comments about your appearance or body

Dishonesty

  • Catches them in lies (even small ones)
  • Story doesn't add up or changes
  • Evasive about basic questions
  • Profile picture vs. real life is drastically different

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. You don't need proof to walk away.

Financial Red Flags

NEVER Give Money or Financial Information

No matter how convincing the story, never:

  • Send money via wire transfer, gift cards, cryptocurrency
  • Share credit card or bank account information
  • Co-sign loans
  • Make investments together
  • Pay their bills "temporarily"
  • Give them access to your accounts

Red flags:

  • Asks about your finances early in relationship
  • Interested in your survivor benefits, life insurance, or assets
  • Suggests combining finances too soon
  • Has "temporary" money problems
  • Asks you to receive packages at your address

Protecting Your Personal Information

Social Media

  • Make profiles private before dating
  • Remove location tags from posts
  • Don't accept friend requests from dates until you know them well
  • Google yourself - See what information is publicly available

Home Security

  • Don't bring dates home for several dates/weeks
  • When you do, don't leave them alone in your home
  • Don't give out spare keys
  • Change routine if relationship ends badly
  • Consider doorbell camera

If Something Goes Wrong

You Were Scammed

Don't be embarrassed. Report it:

  • FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: ic3.gov
  • FTC: reportfraud.ftc.gov
  • Local police
  • Dating site/app - Report the profile

You Feel Unsafe

  • Trust your instincts - Leave immediately
  • Call 911 if you're in danger
  • Block them on all platforms
  • Document everything - Screenshots, messages, dates
  • File police report if threatened or stalked
  • Tell friends/family - Don't keep it secret

Choosing Safe Dating Platforms

Safer options (better screening, verification):

  • Match.com - Paid service, better screening
  • eHarmony - Verification process
  • Bumble - Women message first, photo verification

More cautious on:

  • Free sites (easier for scammers)
  • Sites with minimal verification
  • Generic dating apps with no safety features

Look for platforms with:

  • Photo verification
  • Background check options
  • Reporting/blocking features
  • Safety tips and resources
  • Moderation of profiles

Positive Dating Experiences

Don't let fear stop you from finding companionship. Most people online are genuine. These safety tips help you screen out the bad ones.

Signs of a genuine person:

  • Willing to video chat early on
  • Consistent story and behavior
  • Real social media presence with history
  • Willing to meet in person relatively soon
  • Respects boundaries
  • Doesn't ask for money or financial information
  • Has verifiable job, friends, life

Remember

Being cautious doesn't mean being paranoid. It means being smart. You deserve companionship AND safety. Trust your instincts, take precautions, and don't settle for anyone who makes you uncomfortable.